I just love to learn, and I take every opportunity to do so. This kept me thinking about all the people from whom I have learnt something. In fact, the reality is that every encounter is a learning experience.
I find it absolutely fascinating that we are so very much knowledgeable and talented, all of us, children and adults alike, not to mention older people who shower us with so much wisdom. This, then, makes me appreciate everyone I encounter, especially when my first impression of the person is weak or negative. When this happens, I usually say to myself: I bet this person makes a mean brownie; or, I bet this person is a great singer; or I bet this person is a great philanthropist.
Actually, this is a game I love to play. Examples abound; for instance, in the movie "Ocean's Eleven" there is the little Chinese guy, as they call him. Well, imagine seeing this guy in the subway. You think: this is a little Chinese guy.
That is it. As a first impression, the guy is obviously insignificant. He is only a little Chinese guy.
But think about what he can do. How incredibly talented he is! There is nothing this little Chinese guy cannot do in what relates to movement and acrobatics. He is fantastic, indeed. Now, come to think of it, this whole movie is about ordinary people demonstrating their talents in different ways, regardless of the reasons for doing so, but never mind that.
Anyway, appreciating others may be a difficult game to play, especially when we are not in a good mood to begin with, or if someone has just pushed our buttons in some way. It is even more difficult to play it when we are dealing with people we know and love. But it is especially during these negative moments that this game should be played; to remove us from that negative vibe. When we do it, we let go of judgment and find ourselves in a place of unconditional acceptance.So how do we play this game? I would suggest getting a notebook. If this is too much, then a piece of paper will do.
If you don't have one available, say, when you are in traffic, just verbalize. The process is simple: write the name of the person if you know it. If you don't know, visualize the person, or think of anything else that will remind you of the person. Then, think about something that this person does that you think is good, regardless of the behavior you now disapprove of.It may be very difficult to find one thing, but, if you think hard enough, eventually you will find not only one, but several things that you can appreciate about the person. If nothing comes to mind, start by doing what I do, especially when someone provokes me in traffic: "I bet this person.
" and you fill in the blank with something that is important to you or that you like.You can start small with an appreciation that has nothing to do with you, for instance, "I appreciate Janelle's dedication to her work," or "I appreciate Robert's loyalty to his boss," etc. Even though you think the person's quality is ridiculous; write it down anyway.
You will soon find that there are many more things that you indeed appreciate about the person. See if you can come up with five things at least. And do it every day, until your bad feeling subsides.Now, why play the game? Because, it will dissolve our ill will and eventually it will make us feel better. That is what is matters, right? That we feel good?..© Maria Moratto 2006.Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of "The Inner Cure: Healing Your Body, Mind, and Soul." Visit Prescription For Bliss at http://www.rx4bliss.
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By: Maria Moratto