The Blessings of Returning the Compliment of Another Person

The other day as I watching an open-mike comedy show in California, a young comedian cracked a joke that got me thinking. I wish I took down his name but unfortunately I didn't.This talented young stand-up asked his audience how ridiculously uncomfortable a situation it is when somebody a lot worse than you praises you for your beauty, health, etc.?.

You of course like it but then what?.How do you reply if the person who is praising you for your (let's say) beauty looks nothing beautiful at all?.How can you then say "well, you don't look too bad yourself" with a straight face?.

Of course you resort to subterfuge and spin. You hem and haw and end up saying something totally disingenuous and inane. That's what cracked up the audience and I must admit I was laughing in front of tube as well.But then I got to thinking? what a test of character and test of reality that was.What a precious opportunity for personal growth it could be if, when praised by someone inferior to us in certain respects, we found a genuine, real, honest way to return the praise and honor that person.Instead of becoming a set up for a joke, the same situation can very well serve as a mutually transforming and elevating occasion.

Why? Because the "inferior" person (so to speak) would force us to use all our powers and intelligence to find the goodness and beauty in him in a manner that a person superior in social status, wealth or physical appearance would not.How many times were you forced to think hard and suppress your prejudices and reach out beyond your regular comfort zone when you were praised by your boss, a truly wealthy wheeler dealer, or an incredibly beautiful woman or man?.The usual reaction to receiving a compliment from a "celebrity" or VIP is to get mushy and sentimental and get all tongue tied. We might even feel that we don't really "deserve" the praise. There is usually very little personal transformation on both ends of the interaction.

It is only when we try to find what is valuable in a person with comparatively "inferior" characteristics that we question our hackneyed concepts and crack our old shell of biases and stereotypes. And a person who is not as fortunate as we are in certain respects does that very well when he praises us and expects something equally valuable in return.Take advantage of such situations.

It's actually a blessing.Stop for a few seconds before you reply automatically with just an off the cuff dismissive remark like "oh, thanks, you too" etc.Take your time to say one thing that is good and genuine about the other person. Perhaps nobody would be cracking up with a punch line at the end. But both would be better off for it.

By: Ugur Akinci