AffairProof Your Relationship

First and foremost learn the signs a partner gives that she/he would or is having an affair. Although, 'an emotional affair' is considered a lesser transgression, it leaves the same emotional impact on the relationship.Signs your partner is having or would have an 'emotional affair.

'.? Emotionally distant or disengaged.? Overly affectionate ? a distraction as to what is really going on.? Noticeably uncomfortable when you say, "I love you.".? Seldom says, "I love you.

" When asked why he/she seldom says, "I love you" he/she becomes defensive.? Appears flustered when a certain person's name is mentioned.? Seldom makes eye contact when you ask questions or talk about important issues.Signs your partner is having a 'physical and emotional affair.'.? Sex has dwindled or more sex than usual is demanded.

? Avoids being touched or cuddled.? Extra attention to physical care and hygiene?going to the gym more often, more cosmetic products, new hair style, new style wardrobe or many new clothes.? Unexplained tell-tale body marks or scents.? Longer meetings than usual, working late more frequently, uncharacteristic meetings out of the office.

Affair-proofing your relationship is easier than you think.? Stay emotionally connected?Be best friends as well as lovers, laugh often, be playful, tease joyfully, create inside jokes: Many times what people miss most is the time they spend with their partner?that is why many affairs begin as friendships?it's intimacy that everyone looks to have.? Wear attractive and appealing clothes to bed.? Avoid letting problems go unresolved.

? Keep your partner among your top three priorities.? Infatuation fades?keep the passion alive.? Make some sacrifices, but don't martyr yourself for his/her sake.? Keep your sex life interesting and active?make love often, weave love, sex and romance into the fabric of your daily lives: Talk often about what you both want and need. Be willing to discuss sexual matters before something is a 'problem.

' Be clear and concise. Never relinquish your role as your partner's 'lover.'.? Avoid nagging.

State your desires/needs/wants clearly and concisely.? Meet crucial needs: The 'right' needs are so strong that when they're not in a marriage people are willing to risk going outside the marriage to attain them. This is not to say that, you are to allow being exploited, demeaned, or disrespected.? Set boundaries: Although you have a good marriage, you can be attracted to someone else?given the cosmos of human beings. Being attracted isn't the sin, acting on the attraction is.

Avoid situations that provide opportunities to act on the attraction.When infidelity (physical and/or emotional) has been committed in your relationship and your partner truly regrets it and convincingly states he/she loves you, their promise to change and you also still love him/her?what do you do?.You can accept the affair as a reality check that you earlier ignored. Now you have an opportunity to wake up. Anger, hurt and being unable to talk comfortably to each other is all part of the reconciliation process. If you truly believe that you had a good relationship and the love was strong, you can still make your relationship work.

Reconciliation may take a long time?but it's the only way. Perseverance pays off more often than not.

Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net.

By: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD