I had the privilege of speaking with a great guy who is a single father of three. He's forty-something and testing the waters of Internet dating. He shared with me his frustrations.From his experience, most of the women immediately use the income level to determine their matches. They also hold very high standards when it comes to the looks department and want someone along the lines of Brad Pitt. Then he said that many he sent a short greeting to did not even respond with a polite "No thanks.
".He also got the impression that many women were seeking characters from romance novels instead of a regular guy who is holding down a job, paying a mortgage and trying to raise three kids.Oh, and the pictures some women posted seemed as though "they weren't trying too hard" to make a good impression.
I know both single men and single women have posted bad photographs of themselves. Unkempt hair. Ill-fitting clothes. Unflattering poses. This is why I keep banging the drum on presentation, looking your best, and investing in your appearance.We talked for a long time and I could tell that he was a really, really nice guy.
Considerate, kind, funny, warm-hearted. I'm not sure what gives. On one hand, I hear women complain about how difficult it is to find a decent man.
Then I talk to someone like this dear man and wonder what's up.It reminded me of the client who was telling me about a man she recently started to date. He was financially stable.
(A big concern for her since her ex was financially irresponsible. Also, few women want to support a couch potato.) However, during our session she seemed uncertain. I asked her about it.
She finally admitted, "Well. He is a little shorter than I am and he is bald." I almost laughed out loud. My first question: "Does he treat you well?".She replied, "Oh, yes! He is very kind and attentive.
I enjoy his company." I then told her there really wasn't any problem and he sounded like a great guy. I reminded her how often women get hung up on the looks department but what she really should concentrate on was how this man treated her.There are plenty of women who chose the tall, dark, handsome man that just made their insides turn to jelly. Years down the road, many of these same women found themselves in divorce court.
The stories slightly vary, but I could almost write a book about what usually happened. He became a workaholic. He was more concerned about his reputation than her. He cheated on her. He never could say one nice thing about what she did. He never noticed how hard she tried.
Meanwhile, there are some wonderful men out there like this single father who is wondering why it's so hard to connect. Could it be that the expectations some women have are just too unreasonable? Not to mention, non-supporting in the long run?.I know there are men who have unrealistic expectations. But I was able to have a great conversation with one who seems to be open to meeting a nice gal, not some twenty-something Barbie Doll.And he confirmed something I've advocated for a long time.
Passion. Any woman who is passionate about football gets his attention. Fast!..
Mary Rose Maguire, Dating Revolutionist! is a relationship coach, professional speaker, and freelance writer for single women over forty. She has conducted workshops on dating over forty, Internet dating, and communication skills for singles. Her unique Dynamic Dating Design approach has helped single women over forty create more opportunities to meet men while enjoying life. She has appeared as a guest on HealthyNet Radio Show, the "By For and About Women Radio Show", WTVN's "The Silver Lining" Show in Columbus, Ohio, and on Columbus FOX 28 Early Morning News Show. Mary Rose Maguire is also the author of the 5 Ways a Single Woman Over 40 Can Find Love eBook, based on her signature workshop. For speaking engagements or media interviews, please contact her at Dating Revolutionist.
By: Mary Rose Maguire